Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I want to be somewhere hot and sunny

I rediscovered some photos on a CD the other day that a friend took when we were travelling round Australia. Oh how I wish I was there again now...

Not quite Einstein

Today I have mostly been doing quizzes. Well, not mostly, but I've done a few. And I'm not stupid! Not too much anyway. I did the 'Test the Nation' IQ Test. I don't think it's a proper proper IQ test, but I got 122. So that wasn't bad really. That's really not that interesting is it. I haven't written much recently because there really hasn't been much to write about recently.

Archery again tonight. I'll let you know how my Olympic plan is coming along...

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Robin Hood

I took my first steps on the ladder to Olympic glory today... (you will come to recognise my whimsical ways) have started a beginner's archery course. For some reason archery is one of those sports that might be seen as 'geeky', or definitely a bit walking boots and khaki, or maybe I just thought that was the perception of it. It was really cool! Some skill, some relaxation and some competition. I even managed to get a few bullseyes (I'm not sure if that's what they're called in archery). We have four arrows, and I got a couple of 33 scores (out of 40), so I didn't think that was bad for starters. Interesting bunch of beginners though...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

A Few Good Men

Went to the theatre last night to see 'A Few Good Men'. I really enjoyed it. It made me want to watch the film again. Rob Lowe was in it. He looks quite young still. And his mouth does a funny wonky thing when he shouts. But, yeh, very well written play. And I thought well acted, but what do I know.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Changing a lightbulb

This post is inspired by a bloke called Dave whose blog I stumbled upon this morning.

This is the joke that was on his blog:

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But the lightbulb really has to want to change.

And then I tried to remember changing lightbulb jokes I've heard before. But I couldn't. So I Googled the joke instead. Here is a random selection (NB: just because they're on here, doesn't mean I agree with them/like them)...

Q: How many students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the lightbulb, one to get so pissed the room starts spinning.

Q: How many Socialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It's not the lightbulb that needs changing, its the system.

Q: How many chav's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not as many as it takes to change a heavy one.

Q: How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. He holds onto the lightbulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But it takes nine visits.

Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on what you want to change it into.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, it's a hardware problem.

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who wants to know?

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the lightbulb exists.

Q: How many countries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. The Germans to start it and get most of the way. The French to try and give up. The Italians to start going one way and then change their minds. The Swiss to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening. The British to stand firm at home without doing much. The Russians to throw loads of people at it without doing much for ages. The USA to turn up late, twist it the last bit and take all the credit.

Q: How many dogs does it take to change a lightblub?
(This one's too long to fit on here, so check it out at the above link.)

Well, there you go... anymore I really need to know about?

Sunday, September 18, 2005


There was a really disturbing photograph in one of the Sunday newspapers today of two pit bull terriers attacking a cow somewhere outside New Orleans. They were starving and despite being tossed in the air, sometimes as high as 15ft, they kept at it because they were desperate. The photographer flagged down a Highway patrol car and got them to shoot the dogs. It took two shots to kill one of them.

That is such a sad story. There was another one about a guy with his little old daschund dog that he'd saved and they were both in a tree and the rescuers came along and said he couldn't take his daschund with him, so he had to kill it because otherwise it would starve. That is just awful. Really upsetting. A little old dog, he could have carried in his arms, it wasn't going to live that long anyway. The man's just lost everything except the thing that was most important to him, his dog. And some stupid jobsworth wouldn't let him take it with him? I know there's loads of people to save, blah blah blah, but surely you could use your discretion? I don't know. It's just sad. I know there is no way I could have left Lottie or Tag (our doggies). I just couldn't do it. This is Lottie...

Friday, September 16, 2005

Summerton Mill

This is a new stop-frame animation called Summerton Mill. It is really really cute. The chickens (the fluffy yellow things with orange feet) are brilliant! Some friends of friends of mine animated it, so that's double-cool (and this is a blatant plug!). Dr Naybhur's song is especially catchy...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

A bad and very long winded joke

I can only remember bad jokes. Here's one that's stuck in my mind for a very long time. It's quite good cos you can make up your own bits to extend it (if you can be bothered)...

Q: What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A: A wonky donkey.

Q: What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
A: A winky wonky donkey.

Q: What do you call a minature donkey with three legs and one eye?
A: A winky wonky dinky donkey.

Q: What do you call a minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano?
A: A plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey.

Q: What do you call a minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano and has a bad case of wind?
A: A stinky plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey.

Q: What do you call a really clever minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano and has a bad case of wind?
A: A thinky stinky plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey.

Q: What do you call a really clever minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano and has a bad case of wind and wears blue suede shoes?
A: An honky tonky thinky stinky plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey.

Q: What do you call a really clever minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano and has a bad case of wind, wears blue suede shoes whilst driving a truck?
A: F***ing talented.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Big fat tummy

My tummy has got fat. It's all bloaty and horrible. I think it's something I ate. Well, probably all the crisps and chocolate and snacks that I've been eating recently. Why, when I know what's good and what's bad for me, do I not have any will-power to eat good stuff and not eat too much. Anyway, that's all very dull.

Watched Spooks last night. I wonder if it's anything like that at all in MI5. I don't think I could join it. MI5 that is (I'd join Spooks, I think Adam's quite fit!). I'm too much of a wimp. And don't have enough faith in my ability. It's all very well working in PR and doing something wrong and it might affect a client, but if you're in MI5 and you do something wrong it might, y'know, affect the whole country. Well, that's the impression I get anyway. I don't think I could be in MI5 unless I was an orphan, or something like that. No one to mind if something happens.

Completely changing the subject, just seen a trailer on TV for the new Pride and Prejudice film. I think Keira Knightly pouts a bit too much when she acts, but it looks like a good film. Well, I just like Pride and Prejudice. Matthew McFadden pouts a bit too so they'll make a good pair! I'll give you the verdict when I go to see it...

Monday, September 12, 2005

Cricket CAN be exciting!

Ha ha! England have done it! They won the Ashes! Fantastic stuff. All for a teeny weeny trophy that you can hardly see. Ah well, it's not like the footballers who need a big cup to prove their manliness... ha ha. Anyway, very impressive stuff. And so close. And everyone's been so nice about each other and all very respectful of each other. It's all jolly friendly and cucumber sandwiches. But seriously, it is really good, and a great example for kids looking up to their sporting heroes. And if Freddie Flintoff doesn't win the Sports Personality of the Year this year then I'm the Queen of England.

Nice one Zara Phillips at Blenheim too - two Gold medals at the Europeans.

And well done Jensen Button for his third at the thingymajig Grand Prix on Sunday.

Anyone else? Well, there were lots of football matches, but I only follow England on the football stuff, and they were rubbish last week against Northern Ireland. Or rather, Northern Ireland were better than them. So we won't talk about football.

Oh, and get better soon Johnny Wilkinson who's just had his appendix out.

Let's finish on cricket again... WELL DONE ENGLAND!

Monday Monday

Good morning! How much do I not want to be at work today? Quite a lot. I'd rather be vegging in front of the telly watching the cricket. Not that I know the rules or anything, but Freddie Flintoff is quite cool. And it's something to do. Just fancy doing not very much.

Had quite an action-packed weekend. Sailing on Saturday (we were rubbish) and rowing/sculling yesterday (I was rubbish). I only took up the whole rowing/sculling in May this year, so am still very much a beginner. And yesterday it showed. It was just a local regatta in Cambridge. I was doing a sculling double thingy, and then rowing in an eight. In the eight I caught a massive crab (for those not in 'the know' with the rowing lingo, that's when your blade, or oar, goes in the water at the wrong angle and you can't get it out the water and the end of the blade comes flying towards your head like it's going to decapitate you and then it all goes horribly wrong) and then when I eventually got the stupid blade out the water, my seat had come off the slide thing, and I couldn't get it back on, so I had to row just leaning when everyone else was sliding and it was just a bit rubbish cos if I hadn't messed up then we might have won cos we were coming back at them at the end. RUBBISH! Very frustrating at my crapness.

Anyway, back to work I suppose...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Doing nothing

At the moment, I am mastering the art of doing nothing. Kind of. I sit at my desk at work, and don't really know what to do. I'm kind of having a crisis of confidence or something. So, I check out some websites, read my emails, read some magazines, shuffle some papers, and think about tidying my desk. I don't usually get round to actually tidying my desk because that's a bit too obvious for everyone else to see. And it seems to pass the time. But I have to say, doing nothing's not all it's cracked up to be. I need to get motivated. They randomly gave me a pay rise today. Good job they are in another office, away from the procrastination. Perhaps they twigged I've been going for interviews and maybe they do actually want to keep me there?! Who knows. I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth though, so thanks very much!

This post was inspired by 'La la la', today's post on Flip Flop Flying

Monday, September 05, 2005

Why am I here?

And other rubbish. I turned down a job today. I've done that three times this year. Not the same job, obviously. I think I must be turning into some kind of interview whore - see how many I can get and then turn them all down NYAH HA HAAA. It stresses me out every time. And every time I do the whole 'soul searching' and 'what do I want to do with my life' thing, and then actually end up doing nothing. So, there we are. I could have changed my life, but I didn't.

But of course, that all pales in comparison to all the mega horrible stuff going on in the world at the moment. New Orleans and the whole hurricane thing is just horrendous. And the death stampedes in Bagdhad. And just general nastiness in the world. It's so upsetting that generally I try not to think about it. It's a bit of an ostrich perspective, but it would properly overwhelm me and then I'd spend most of my time crying. So perhaps I should be happy all the time, and try to make other people a bit happier and then that's my bit done?!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Nearly the weekend

Well, in today's quiz I got a BIG FAT ZERO!! How amusing. Some really bad guessing going on today. Oh well.

Here's another photo. It's Lance Armstrong at this year's Tour de France. His last one. He's AMAZING! Look at his face. This was near the end of one of, if not the, toughest stage. It finished at the top of the Pla-d’Adet in the Pyrenees. My dad and uncle cycled up it before the Tour came through. It's totally mad actually. Hundreds of people waiting hours and hours to see them cycle past in a few seconds. It's better on the mountains because it probably takes about ten seconds for them to cycle past instead of about two on the flat.

Sticky art

Just experimenting with the photo thingy again. Here are some pretty clematis (not sure if that's the plural too) from our garden this summer. It appears we are having a bit of an Indian summer this year. It was BAKING yesterday. Why is it called an Indian summer?

So much is not going on in my life at the moment. Well, the potential is there for lots to be going on but actually I'm rubbish when there's too much to choose from.

Was wondering (for the 1000th time) the other day, how many photos are there in the world that I am randomly in? Who has got me in the background of their 'London tourist photo' or 'Sydney tourist photo' or 'Live 8 concert photo' or anything?! It's a weird thought.

Read something today about a guy who does 3D pavement art who has also taken to making mini masterpieces out of chewing gum that has been spat on the pavement. I think it's horrible to spit chewing gum on the pavement. This guy, Ben Wilson, started doing the art as his statement against horrible people who spit their chewing gum on the ground. Here's a couple of examples. Apparently there are 300,000 pieces of gum stuck to Oxford Street. Whilst trying to find a link for Ben Wilson, I also happened upon Gum Blondes. A guy called Jason from Canada chews bubble gum and then sticks it to plywood to make portraits of famous blonde ladies. People are so weird aren't they - how on earth did he come up with that idea?! "I know, I'll do art from bubble gum!" Hmmm. Anyway, there's Paris Hilton on there, Anna Kournikova, Sarah Michelle Gellar. I'm not sure if No.II is meant to be Britney? You can definitely see the skill level increase from the rather, well, childlike 'Gum Blonde I' to No.XII pretty impressive Marilyn Monroe creation. Excellent!