Monday, September 19, 2005

Changing a lightbulb

This post is inspired by a bloke called Dave whose blog I stumbled upon this morning.

This is the joke that was on his blog:

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But the lightbulb really has to want to change.

And then I tried to remember changing lightbulb jokes I've heard before. But I couldn't. So I Googled the joke instead. Here is a random selection (NB: just because they're on here, doesn't mean I agree with them/like them)...

Q: How many students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the lightbulb, one to get so pissed the room starts spinning.

Q: How many Socialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It's not the lightbulb that needs changing, its the system.

Q: How many chav's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not as many as it takes to change a heavy one.

Q: How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. He holds onto the lightbulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But it takes nine visits.

Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on what you want to change it into.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, it's a hardware problem.

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who wants to know?

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the lightbulb exists.

Q: How many countries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. The Germans to start it and get most of the way. The French to try and give up. The Italians to start going one way and then change their minds. The Swiss to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening. The British to stand firm at home without doing much. The Russians to throw loads of people at it without doing much for ages. The USA to turn up late, twist it the last bit and take all the credit.

Q: How many dogs does it take to change a lightblub?
(This one's too long to fit on here, so check it out at the above link.)

Well, there you go... anymore I really need to know about?

2 Comments:

Blogger lurchyboy said...

How many policemen does it take to break a lightbulb?

None. And anyway, the lightbulb slipped and fell, accidentally of it's own accord.

19/9/05 11:58 am  
Blogger Tori said...

tee hee!

19/9/05 12:08 pm  

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